Someone To Watch Over Me
by Rebecca Cage
Summary: When Father Mulcahy is wounded by sniper fire while helping in triage, it is up to Hawkeye to come to his rescue. But who can rescue Hawkeye when the past begins to resurface for him? Please R&R! Rated T for harsh content.
1. Something Goes Wrong

Someone To Watch Over Me

Chapter 1: Something Goes Wrong

It was a typical day at the 4077th MASH unit, just a few miles from the front of the Korean War. There had been several strong offensives in as many days so the unit had been loaded with casualties. The heavy workload had taken an exhausting toll on the staff, so they were extremely relieved when they finished operating on the latest wave of wounded soldiers and were finally getting a well deserved break.

"I feel like I could sleep for a week." Hawkeye Pierce declared tiredly as he stumbled into the Swamp and flopped onto his cot.

"Don't I know it. We've been operating for 36 hours straight. I don't know about you, but I could use a drink. You want one, too." BJ Hunnicutt said as he poured two drinks from the still, handing one to Hawkeye, before sinking wearily into a chair between the two cots.

"Maybe a drink will help settle my nerves so I can sleep better. Thanks, Beej."

"Sure."

As the two sat drinking together and trying to unwind after such a long OR session, they talked about pleasant things and happier times. After a time, BJ realized that his bunkmate had gone quiet. Glancing up from the martini glass in his hand, he couldn't help but smile as he noticed that a drink was all it took for Hawkeye to succumb to his exhaustion and the other man had fallen asleep, mumbling softly. BJ stood up and crossed to his friend's cot and covered him lightly with the blanket. Then he picked up the glass that was teetering precariously in Hawkeye's limp fingers and placed it on the table next to the still. Once he made sure Hawkeye was settled, BJ could no longer fight back his own exhaustion and he collapsed onto his own cot, dropping into his own sound sleep as soon as his head hit his pillow.

* * *

At about 8:15 the next morning, the whirring sound of chopper blades in the distance pierced the quiet and rudely awakened the surgeons and nurses from the peaceful respite of their slumber and brought them all stumbling out of their tents and into the compound to start another grueling day.

"Okay, give this man a quarter grain of morphine and get him into pre op. I'll take him first in OR." Hawkeye said as the nurse and two corpsmen he had addressed carried the wounded soldier off of the compound and into the pre op unit.

"Let's keep an eye out, people. Radar got a call on the radio this morning that MPs have spotted sniper activity in the area. Make sure you keep your eyes open." Colonel Sherman Potter shouted from where he knelt on the ground taking care of another wounded soldier who had been brought in with the latest round.

"Okay, let's get him inside." BJ said, noticing that there was only one corpsman in the vicinity of where he was working. "Can I get some help over here."

"On my way, BJ." Father Mulcahy called as BJ rushed past him on his way to tend to another patient.

It was then that the sound of sniper fire rang through the compound, causing everyone to rush for cover. The top priority on their minds was making sure that the wounded soldiers remaining in the compound got to safety.

"Let's get the rest of these people into pre op right now! We'll finish checking them inside." Colonel Potter yelled as he grabbed the end of a stretcher and moved toward the safety of the building.

"I need some help over here."

As everyone rushed around him getting wounded to safety, Father Mulcahy rushed forward to assist the corpsman who had cried out for assistance. Just as he was bending over to pick up the end of the stretcher, however, the sound of a gunshot rang through the air yet again and things seemed to move in slow motion as Mulcahy dropped the end of the stretcher that he had been holding and collapsed slowly to the ground.


	2. Racing To Help

Chapter 2: Racing To Help

"Oh my God!" Hawkeye screamed from where he stood in the doorway. He was making sure that everyone was off the compound, had heard the sniper fire and seen the young chaplain go down.

"Pierce! What happened? Where the hell do you think you're going?" Major Charles Emerson Winchester snapped as he stepped forward and grabbed his counterpart by the wrist in order to stop him from rushing back into the danger zone.

"Let go of me, Charles! I need to get to the compound! Mulcahy's down! He was hit by sniper fire!"

"Oh, Lord! You can't get him inside by yourself. I'll come with you. You need my help."

"Right, let's go. We don't have time for discussion." Hawkeye said as he dashed out into the compound with Charles right on his heels.

As soon as the two surgeons reached him, they immediately knew that Mulcahy was in serious trouble from the amount of blood that he was lying in. Hawkeye and Charles picked Mulcahy up very carefully and rushed him inside to safety and laid him on a gurney.

"What in the world happened here?" Potter asked as he rushed from the other side of the room where he had been working.

"Father Mulcahy was hit, Colonel. It looks pretty bad. I'll go in and see how bad the damage is once we put him under."

"Go ahead, Pierce. We'll handle the rest of the wounded."

"That's right. Hunnicutt and I will divide your patients between us. You concentrate on Father Mulcahy." Charles agreed.

"Okay, let's get him into OR and get him prepped. I'm gonna go scrub." Hawkeye said as he dashed from the room on trembling knees.

* * *

"How's he doing, Hawk?" BJ asked, glancing up from the bowel re-section that he was working on.

"It's gonna be a rough go, Beej. The bullet hit him in the back, next to his right shoulder blade and it lodged in his collarbone. It wasn't easy removing it. What concerns me is the fact that he lost so much blood before Charles and I got to him. The actual damage doesn't look as bad as what I originally thought. I'll be ready to start closing here in a few minutes." Hawkeye said, not looking up from what he was doing.

"Doctor, his pressure's dropping." The nurse said hurriedly, fear shining in her dark eyes.

"I must have missed a bleeder in there somewhere. Pump that blood in fast! I need some suction here! I can't see!" Hawkeye shouted orders to those around him as he felt his blood run cold, keenly aware of several pairs of eyes on him. "Come on, Father. Stay with me here. Okay, there it is. I see it. Give me a clamp. I've got it. How's he doing?"

"Pressure's stabilized, Doctor."

"I like a man who has friends in high places." BJ joked, trying to relieve the tension as the nurse assisting Hawkeye reached up and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"An admirable job, Pierce. Good work." Charles commented.

"Well, let's hope so. I'm closing now." Hawkeye breathed, trying to still his trembling hands.

* * *

An hour later, the surgeons had finished tending to all of the wounded soldiers that had been brought in and they had retreated to the changing room to get out of the blood soaked surgical scrubs that they were wearing. Hawkeye peeled off his scrub top but instead of tossing it into the bin, he stood holding the bloody shirt in his trembling hands, a haunted, far off look in his eyes.

"Hawk? Are you okay?" BJ asked, concerned, approaching Hawkeye and resting a hand on his shoulder.

"I think so, Beej. I don't know for sure, though." Hawkeye said, not resisting when his friend took the crumpled top from him and tossed it in the bin behind him.

"Pierce, why don't you go back to the Swamp and get some rest. You've had a stressful session and you look exhausted." Colonel Potter suggested quietly.

"I'm fine. I'm gonna go over to post op and check on Father Mulcahy. I think I'll sit with him for awhile. Just to make sure he's okay."

Knowing the look in their counterpart's eyes yielded no room for argument, the other three in the room simply stood aside and watched as Hawkeye turned and left the room, heading through the post op doors.

As he walked into post op and crossed the room to Father Mulcahy's bed, Hawkeye felt his blood run cold again. When he approached, the nurse making rounds looked up and acknowledged him with a small smile.

"How's he doing?" Hawkeye asked.

"He's stable now, Doctor."

Taking the chart that the nurse handed to him, he studied the various stats on the page before handing it back to her. "Okay. Let's start him on IV antibiotics to cut down the risk of any infection due to the internal trauma. Also, I want you to keep a close watch on him and monitor his vital signs every 2 hours."

"Yes, Doctor." The young nurse acknowledged as she went to continue on with her rounds.

As soon as the duty nurse had gone, Hawkeye sat quietly by Mulcahy's bedside, reflecting silently on the events of the OR session. It unnerved him to think that they nearly lost the man who was literally the soul of the unit. It had been entirely too close. He was angry at the snipers who had infiltrated their camp and shot an unarmed man who was trying to help get a wounded man to safety and he was frustrated at himself for missing the bleeder that resulted in things taking a scary turn. Hawkeye leaned his head against the wall behind him, closing his eyes to attempt to corral his scattered thoughts, and it was in this moment that his physical exhaustion decided to rear its head. Before he was even aware of it, Hawkeye had dropped off into a fitful sleep at the young chaplain's bedside.

* * *

Three hours later, BJ walked slowly into post op for his shift feeling like he had a huge weight on his shoulders. He noticed Hawkeye was asleep next to Father Mulcahy's bed but pushed the sight out of his thoughts for a moment as he made rounds with the nurse that he was relieving to get a status report on all of the patients in the ward.

After he finished his first rounds, BJ walked softly over to where Hawkeye was resting and sat down on the empty bed next to him. He knew that the weary surgeon needed to get some sleep but didn't think he'd rest very well sitting in a chair with his head against a hard wall.

"Hawk." BJ whispered. When he got no response, he reached out and placed a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder. "Hawkeye."

"Huh? What?" Hawkeye muttered sleepily as he woke with a start and looked around the room. "BJ?"

"Yeah. I just came in to start my shift and noticed you here."

"Oh. I guess I was more exhausted than I thought. I must have dozed off."

"So, how's he doing?"

"Well, his vitals are stable and that's a good sign. I started him on an antibiotic IV to stem off any possibility of infection from the internal trauma. I'll feel a little better when he wakes up, though."

"I think we all will."

"What time is it anyway?" Hawkeye asked.

"It's midnight. You've been sitting here for over four hours." BJ said, watching as Hawkeye rubbed a hand over his face in an effort to keep himself from falling asleep again. "Listen, we're not using this next bed here so why don't you lie down for a bit. That way you can get some rest and still be nearby. It's a better idea than sleeping in a chair. If anything changes, I promise I'll wake you."

It was a testament to how tired Hawkeye really was when he didn't even attempt to pose an argument. Instead he allowed BJ to pull him to his feet and sat wearily on the bed his friend had just been sitting on. Yawning, he pulled his legs up, stretched out and sank back into a sound sleep before his head even hit the pillow.

BJ paused for a moment in the stillness of the silent post op ward. Realizing how close the tight knit medical unit came to sustaining a devastating blow, he closed his eyes for a moment and said a silent prayer that Father Mulcahy would recover from his ordeal and that Hawkeye would be able to overcome and get past the horror that he had witnessed.


	3. Beginning The Road To Recovery

Chapter 3: Beginning The Road To Recovery

Four hours later, BJ was sitting quietly at the small desk in the back of the ward, lost deep in his thoughts. It was when the nurse came in for the next post op shift that he was brought back to reality.

"Captain. You're off duty now. Do you know who has the duty this shift?"

"Hawkeye was supposed to have it." BJ said quietly.

"Do you want me to wake him?"

"No, let him sleep, Kellye. He's been through the wringer and he sure needs the rest. Besides, if you wake him up he'll just go off and worry himself into a frazzle about Father Mulcahy's condition. This way we can keep an eye on both of them at the same time."

"What are we going to do about this shift in Post Op?" Nurse Kellye asked, looking at her watch.

Before BJ had a chance to respond, however, the conversation was interrupted when Corporal Radar O'Reilly peeking his head quietly into the ward from the office area just beyond the doors behind them.

"BJ, I alerted Colonel Potter and he said to tell you that he's on his way over and he'll take over post op and do Hawkeye's shift."

"Thanks, Radar." BJ said, amused. He couldn't help but smile at the young man's ability to seemingly read people's minds before they even spoke to him.

Five minutes later, Colonel Potter walked into the post op ward and regarded BJ with a half smile that didn't begin to mask the worry in his eyes. He toured the ward slowly and stopped when he reached the end of the room where two of his officers rested.

"Has there been any sort of change at all?" Potter asked.

"No. I wish there were. He's been unconscious the entire time I've been on duty. I've been hoping he'd start to show signs of coming out of it but no such luck yet."

"Okay. So what's with Pierce?"

"When I came on duty four hours ago, I walked in and found Hawkeye asleep in the chair next to Father Mulcahy's bed. I woke him and, knowing there was no conceivable way I was going to be able to convince him to go back to the Swamp to go to bed, I helped him lay down on that spare cot there. He's totally exhausted." BJ explained, pulling the blanket up from the end of the bed and spreading it over the sleeping surgeon.

"We're going to have to keep a pretty close eye on him for the next couple of days as well. No telling what kind of effect what he witnessed today is liable to have on him. According to Winchester, Pierce was standing in the doorway of pre op looking to see if the compound was clear and saw the Padre take a hit." Potter observed, glancing momentarily at the still form of the young chaplain lying on the bed before turning back to BJ. "Look, Hunnicutt, you aren't going to do any good standing around here. Why don't you go on back to the Swamp and try to get some sleep. I'll send Radar to come and get you if anything changes."

"Yes, sir. I think maybe I'd better." BJ yawned. He was fading from the long day coupled with his post op shift and his eyelids were sinking slowly. As BJ left the ward, Potter sank into the chair his subordinate had just vacated and sighed heavily, wondering how things had managed to go so wrong so quickly.

* * *

When BJ got back to the Swamp after his shift in post op, he found Charles sitting on his cot listening to phonograph records and staring outside with a haunted, far away look in his eyes. He seemed not to notice BJ entering the tent, but upon hearing the him getting a drink from the still, the white collar major turned to face his haggard bunkmate, the stress on his face making him look years older than he had when he left the tent that morning.

"Here, have a drink, Charles. I know it's not as uptown as what you normally drink but after the day we've had, we can both use it. Trust me, it'll settle your nerves." BJ offered, pouring another martini and handing it to the other man.

"Considering the events we've witnessed here today, Hunnicutt, I think I will accept your offer. Thank you." Charles said quietly, lifting the glass to his dry lips and taking a long, deep drink from it. "I believe you just came from post op. How's Father Mulcahy holding up?"

"Well, when Potter took over for me and I left the ward, he was still unconscious. He hasn't come around at all yet and I'm a little concerned. It seems to be taking him a while to come out of it."

"Yes, it does seem that way doesn't it. Wait a minute, Hunnicutt. You just said that Potter took over for you in post op? I thought Pierce was supposed to have the duty tonight. Is he all right?"

"I guess he's okay. He's exhausted though. When I took over this evening, I found Hawkeye sound asleep in the chair next to Father Mulcahy's bed. After I finished my rounds I woke him and he filled me in on his condition. Hawk could barely keep his eyes open but I knew there was no way I was going to convince him to come back to the Swamp short of my sedating him and physically hauling him here, so I had Kellye set up the empty cot right next to where he was sitting and once he got settled he was out before his head hit the pillow. What concerns me though is the psychological aftermath from what happened today. Potter told me that he was standing in the door of pre op when Father Mulcahy went down and he saw the whole thing. My God, who knows how deep of an impact that's going to have. I mean, the man's already lost one close friend because of this damn war and to nearly lose another one may be too much even for Hawkeye. Charles, we're going to have to come together here and help him through this." BJ explained, killing his drink and pouring himself another.

"That we shall. The horrified look on Pierce's face when he turned around after I grabbed him to keep him from dashing back out into the compound is something that I believe will remain burned in my memory for the rest of my days. If there is any way that I can support him as we all work through what has happened, I'll do it." Charles vowed, placing his glass down and going to lie down on his bunk.

"I'm sure that'll mean a lot to him. Well, I'm going to try to get some sleep. This has been a very long day and it's starting to take it's toll. Hopefully we'll hear something about Father Mulcahy at some point. Potter promised that he'd send Radar to get us if anything changed." BJ said tiredly, resting heavily on his cot and closing his eyes.

* * *

It was about 3:00 the next morning when Father Mulcahy began to show signs of regaining consciousness. Making her rounds, Nurse Kellye was walking by the bed when she heard a faint moan and turned her head just in time to see the unit's beloved chaplain stir and open his eyes for the first time since he had been injured the previous day, squinting against the faint light.

"Colonel Potter!" Nurse Kellye called out, moving back from the bed as the commander rushed over to her. "He just came around."

"It's okay. Just take it easy, Padre. How are you doing?" Potter asked, his voice filled with a combination of concern and relief.

"Where am I? What happened?" Mulcahy asked groggily, turning his head in Potter's direction.

"You're in post op. While we were working triage yesterday, we drew a barrage of sniper fire. You took a bullet in your shoulder, Father. Hawkeye had to operate. It was scary there for a while." Potter explained, wincing sympathetically as the young clergyman grimaced in pain from the wound to his shoulder. "Just relax. We'll give you something for that pain. Kellye, let's give him a shot of morphine."

Potter remained by his chaplain's bedside as Kellye injected the morphine into the port in the IV line. As the drug began to have its desired effect, Mulcahy felt the gnawing pain in his shoulder subside and he slowly started to relax. He felt as though he were floating, a drowsy feeling gradually pulling him in. Potter placed a hand on his arm and adjusted the blanket over him as his eyes lost focus before closing completely, a deep sleep drawing the wounded priest into its healing embrace.


	4. Demons Emerge

Chapter 4: Demons Emerge

Hawkeye was jostled out of his dreamless slumber by someone gently shaking his shoulder. He stirred slightly and slowly forced his eyes open and was greeted by Colonel Potter sitting in the chair that he himself had occupied just hours before. Realizing where he was, he sat up suddenly and looked at his commanding officer with panicked eyes.

"Colonel? What's going on? What are you doing in here?" Hawkeye asked, rubbing his eyes.

"It's okay, son. I just woke you to tell you that Father Mulcahy regained consciousness a while ago. He's sleeping now because he was obviously in a good deal of pain and after I had Kellye give him some morphine he went under again. But his condition is stable. It looks like your cool head turned the trick, Hawkeye. To answer your question as to what I'm doing in here, last night I was in my tent and Radar, being Radar, came in and said that we needed someone to take over the duty here in post op. When I came in, BJ told me that he had found you sleeping in this chair here and rather than try to drag you back to the Swamp, he convinced you to lie down on that spare bed and get some rest and neither of us thought we should disturb you." Potter said quietly.

"How did he seem when he came to?"

"He was okay. As I said he was hurting from his injury and of course the anesthesia left him slightly confused. When he came to, he asked me what happened and where he was. I explained it to him but he was so groggy that I'm not really sure how much he actually understood. But other than that he was fine."

Hawkeye stood up slowly and studied the vital sign readings on the chart at the end of the bed. Then he allowed himself to glance from the clipboard in his hands to one of his dear friends who lay on the hospital cot in front of him, sleeping peacefully. He reflected back once again on the events that had lead to this, and at the same time fatigue tugged heavily at him, battling for supremacy.

"Colonel, do you mind finishing out the rest of my shift? I'm going to head back to the Swamp and see if I can sort through the hundreds of things that are running rampant in my mind right now." Hawkeye said, leaning wearily on the metal frame at the end of the bed and looking like he had the weight of the entire world bearing down on his shoulders.

"I was planning on it. You look like you've been through a raging river without a raft. I called I-Corps and they said that the fighting has moved north for the time being so there won't be any casualties heading our way for a few days so why don't you try to get some rest. You could sure use it. I'll send for you if anything changes here." Potter suggested, noticing the haggard appearance and the tired eyes of the younger man looking back at him. He was beginning to worry about how his chief surgeon was handling this. The unit commander intended to express his concern but when he looked up, Hawkeye had already gone.

* * *

When he got back to the Swamp, Hawkeye was relieved to find both BJ and Charles asleep in their bunks because he wasn't in the mood to deal with the third degree from his tent mates about what he was feeling and how he was dealing with the current situation. He had barely avoided getting into that conversation with Colonel Potter in post op.

Lying down on his own cot, Hawkeye allowed his thoughts to wander over everything that had happened. He found himself wondering if there were anything he could have done to prevent Father Mulcahy's condition from happening in the first place. Logically, he knew that there was nothing that anyone could have done but it didn't make his guilt over the situation lessen at all. Hawkeye was still working the possibles over in his head when he drifted off to sleep.

Three hours later, BJ was awakened by the sound of Hawkeye tossing violently in his bunk and moaning in his sleep. Getting up quickly, BJ hurried across the room to his friend's side just as Charles also awakened and switched on the lamp above his bunk, illuminating the tent in a warm glow. BJ sat down at the end of Hawkeye's bunk and shook his shoulder to wake him. He bolted up and his eyes snapped open, scanning the room wildly.

"Hawk? Are you okay?" BJ asked, concerned.

"Oh, God. That was a bad nightmare." Hawkeye said, trying to still his trembling hands as BJ rested a hand on his shoulder to calm him.

"What was your nightmare about, Pierce? It must have been pretty bad to shake you up like this." Charles asked, sitting up on the end of his bunk.

"I really don't want to talk about it." Hawkeye began, lying back down. "Beej?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you just talk to me about something? It doesn't matter what. Just anything positive."

"Okay. Sure, Hawk." BJ said, sitting on the chair between their bunks and talking to his friend about calming subjects.

BJ sat with Hawkeye for a long time, talking to him about anything that came to mind that he thought might ease the other man's mind. A few minutes later, Hawkeye's eyes closed again as he let the reassuring sound of his friend's voice carry him back into a troubled sleep. BJ continued his narrative until his own eyelids began sliding shut of their own accord and he felt himself nodding, heading then to the comfort of his own cot and took advantage of the lull in casualties which gave him a few extra hours of rest.

* * *

Later that morning, Major Margaret Houlihan was on her way back to her tent after having breakfast in the Mess Tent when she heard something that stopped her in her tracks. As she was walking past the Swamp, she heard the unmistakable sound of someone crying quietly. When she opened the door, Margaret saw Hawkeye sitting on the edge of his cot with his head in his hands. Hurting for her friend, she walked over to sit beside him and placed a hand on his arm.

"Hawkeye, are you all right? Talk to me. What's wrong?"

"I just can't shake this feeling that there was something more I could have done to prevent this. On top of that I had this horrible nightmare earlier. I know it was a dream but it seemed so real. My God, Margaret, when I think about how close we came to losing another friend. I don't think I have the strength to go through that again." Hawkeye said, tears falling freely from his eyes.

"This wasn't your fault. The only thing in this is scenario that you are responsible for is the fact that Father Mulcahy survived. He would have died out there in the compound if you hadn't gone for him and gotten him to safety. We aren't going to lose another friend, Hawkeye. No one here is remotely about to let that happen." Margaret said quietly, pulling Hawkeye into a comforting embrace as he surrendered to the storm of emotions raging within him and once again let his tears fall. "It's okay. I'm here. I'm right here."

For a long moment, Margaret sat with Hawkeye, holding and comforting him as he gave vent to his feelings. After several minutes, the young surgeon finally calmed and sat quietly for a moment. Then he looked up at Margaret and placed his hand over hers.

"Thanks, Margaret. I really appreciate you sitting with me. It helped to have someone to talk me through that." Hawkeye said, giving the head nurse a small smile.

"I'm glad I was able to help you at least a little. Sometimes it's easier to get through something like this when you have people to lean on. I hope you know I'll always be here if you need to talk."

"I know. I really appreciate that. I do have several people to lean on. BJ and Charles talked me through the terror after I had a bad nightmare last night. If they hadn't been there, I seriously think I would have gone crazy. I'm gonna go take a shower and then I'm going to go over to post op and check on Father Mulcahy's condition."

"I think that's a good idea. Then you can take it easy today. I'm sure Colonel Potter told you that we're not expecting casualties for a few days. Will you at least try to not run yourself into the ground over this." Margaret cautioned, watching helplessly as Hawkeye grabbed his towel and headed out of the tent.

* * *

Two hours later, Hawkeye walked into the post op ward to check on Mulcahy's condition. When he walked over to the bed, Charles was standing there going over some lab results and Hawkeye had a sudden feeling of dread when he saw the concern look on the major's face.

"Charles, what's happening? Is something wrong?" Hawkeye asked, reaching to take the clipboard that Winchester held into his own quaking hands. He looked at the lab results and looked at Charles with fright in his eyes, the color draining from his face. "Oh God."

"He was doing well last night but things took a bad turn earlier this morning. I got a hematocrit level on him and it's really low. I'm very concerned, Pierce."

"I know. Probably another bleeder in there that I might have missed somehow." Hawkeye began, sighing heavily. "I'm going to have to open him up again. Charles, I want you to run backup for me. That way we can make sure we don't miss anything else. Okay, prep him. We need to get on this now!"

* * *

"There it is. I did miss a small bleeder in there. Charles, give me a little bit of retraction here, I can't quite get in there to fix it." Hawkeye said, addressing his counterpart without even looking up.

"How about now? Is that better." Charles asked.

"Yeah, that's fine. I can get to it now. It's not that bad. Give me a minute to get this closed off. Okay, that's got it. I'm just going to check and make sure that there isn't any other damage here that I missed earlier."

"I can't see anything. I think you fixed the problem, Pierce."

"Yeah, I think so too. I don't see anything either. I'm going to close here and then we'll get him back to post op and continue giving him antibiotics. I also want to give him a unit of whole blood just to make sure his volume's okay."

* * *

Once they had returned the wounded chaplain to his bed in post op, Hawkeye and Charles remained for a time keeping watch over him. It was obvious that the situation was wearing on both of them. Just then, Colonel Potter walked into the ward and approached the two surgeons standing by the bed.

"I heard you had to go back in on Mulcahy. How's he doing now?" Potter asked, glancing to the still form on the bed before him.

"His hematocrit was low and so Charles and I opened him back up and I had missed a small bleeder the first time. Damn it! How the hell could I have been so careless? I mean, he could have bled to death!" Hawkeye shouted, putting his head in his hands.

"Take it easy, son. Don't do this to yourself. If you carry guilt on your shoulders over something like this, you're only going to drive yourself crazy."

"Colonel Potter's right. There's no need to assume the worst in this thing, Pierce. You aren't to blame here. The only person we need to be assigning blame to is the sniper who shot Father Mulcahy in the first place." Charles agreed, placing a hand on Hawkeye's shoulder.

"I'm going to head back to my office. Holler if you boys need any help or if there's any chance in the Padre's condition." Potter instructed, heading for his office as Charles nodded in assent.

"Come on, Pierce. Let's go to the mess tent and get something to eat. You aren't going to be any good to anyone unless you keep up your strength."

"No, I'm not hungry. I'm going to stay here and keep an eye on Father Mulcahy until he's stabilized. Charles, I want to thank you for helping me back there and yesterday as well." Hawkeye said, a brief smile passing across his face that was gone as suddenly as it appeared.


	5. Connecting With An Old Friend

Chapter 5: Connecting With An Old Friend

Hawkeye was sitting with Father Mulcahy in post op, keeping watch over him and monitoring him closely. He was going over the latest round of vital signs that had been taken when Radar walked quietly into the room, carrying a tray of food from the mess tent.

"Hawkeye?" Radar said quietly.

"Yeah, what is it, Radar? Don't tell me we have wounded."

"No, sir. I just brought you some food from the mess tent. You missed dinner."

"Thanks for going to the trouble, Radar, but I'm just not hungry right now. Besides, even if I was I don't think I could hold anything down after all I've seen around this hell hole today." Hawkeye said, turning away from the young corporal and returning to his chair.

"Hey, come on, Hawkeye. You've got to at least try to eat a little bit of something. If you don't, you'll make yourself sick. On top of that, you'll be too weak to help anyone." Radar pointed out, taking the tray and setting it on Hawkeye's lap.

"Okay. You make a good point. I'll try to eat a little of this. Besides, it'd be really rude of me to refuse after you went to all the trouble to bring this over here for me."

"How's Father Mulcahy doing?"

"Well, he seems to be okay now. His blood pressure's stabilizing and he seems to be resting comfortably. We had to go back in earlier today because there was a bleeder in there that I missed."

"Oh, gee. I'm glad you took care of it, Hawkeye. Is he going to be okay?" Radar asked, his eyes wide.

"I think so. He'll be out for quite some time though. We're giving him morphine to kill the pain and it's keeping him sedated. At least he's not in any pain right now." Hawkeye said, readjusting the blanket over the sleeping man.

* * *

Back at the Swamp, BJ was sitting on the chair next to his cot having a drink and listening to Charles dictating something into his tape recorder in an attempt to distract himself from the tension in the room, which was thick enough to be cut with a scalpel. As he sipped at the martini in his hands, BJ allowed his mind to wander and as it did he found himself thanking God that Hawkeye and Charles had succeeded in stabilizing Mulcahy again and he was also very concerned about Hawkeye. He kept replaying in his mind the look of horror on his friend's face when we had awakened from a nightmare the night before. As he was wracking his brain trying to find some way to help his friend unwind, an idea suddenly occurred to him.

"Charles, can I borrow a piece of paper and a pen. I need to write something down real fast."

"Of course. Here you are, Hunnicutt." Charles said, handing a note pad and pen to his counterpart.

"Thanks, Charles." BJ said quickly, scribbling something down on a piece of the note paper and folding it up as he stood and headed out the door into the compound.

As BJ walked across the compound, he caught sight of Corporal Max Klinger on guard duty, as usually wearing a dress and ladies hat. He stopped in mid step and turned to face BJ as he approached.

"Klinger, I need a favor. Can I get you to do something for me real fast and I'll cover for you out here?"

"Sure. What's up, Captain?"

"I want you to go to supply and get what I have written down on this slip of paper and bring it back to me without letting anyone see you. I'll stay here and keep the watch until you get back. If anyone asks, I'll say that I asked you to do something for me." BJ explained, handing the slip of paper to Klinger.

"I don't understand. What are you going to do with this?" Klinger asked, regarding BJ with a confused expression as he handed him the gun he carried and headed to the supply room before the other man could answer.

When Klinger returned with the small bottle that he was sent to retrieve, BJ pocketed it and thanked the cross dressing corporal for his assistance. Then, putting his plan into action, he headed to post op to talk to Hawkeye.

* * *

Hawkeye was helping one of the nurses change a dressing on one of the patients in post op when BJ walked in. When he noticed his friend's arrival, he stood up wearily and approached him.

"How's Father Mulcahy? Charles told me that the two of you had to operate again this afternoon."

"He's stable now, Beej. We drew another hematocrit level on him a couple hours ago and it's back in a normal range so I think we closed everything. I can't believe that I missed that. He could have bled to death and it would have been my fault." Hawkeye said, his voice cracking.

"Hawk, you can't blame yourself. It was very hectic in OR that day and we nearly lost Father Mulcahy on the table. You were working frantically in order to save him and you thought you got all the bleeders closed. It's happened to all of us. You need to unwind. The tension you're putting on yourself isn't good for you. I have an idea. Why don't you come back to the Swamp with me and have a couple of drinks. Lieutenant Anderson will come and get you if anything changes." BJ urged.

"That sounds like a pretty good idea. All right, Beej. I think I need to get out of here for a little while. There's nothing else I can do here for now anyway." Hawkeye agreed, allowing BJ to lead him toward the door.

* * *

When they got to the Swamp, Hawkeye sat heavily on his cot and rested his head on his hands. BJ walked over to the still and poured two drinks. After glancing around to make sure neither of the other two were watching him, he pulled the bottle out of his pocket and poured a small amount into one of the martinis before stirring it. He took this glass and handed it to Hawkeye before turning to Charles.

"You want a drink, Charles? Why don't you join us?" BJ offered sincerely.

"I believe I will. Thank you, gentlemen." Charles agreed, taking the glass that BJ handed him.

The three surgeons sat quietly having a drink together. All of their minds were on their wounded friend and they were drawing a kind of strength and solace in each other's company. After several minutes, Hawkeye began to loosen up and soon felt relaxed, if not a little tired. He placed his glass on the floor by his feet and lay back on the cot.

"Are you all right, Pierce? Don't you feel well?" Charles asked.

"I'm okay. The martini I had just relaxed me, that's all. It's been a really long day and I'm a little tired. I think I'm just going to lie here for a while. I feel a little light headed too." Hawkeye responded tiredly, a yawn escaping him as if to accent his words.

"You look beat, Hawk. Why don't you sack out for a few hours. May make you feel a little better." BJ suggested as Hawkeye merely nodded his head in response, too fatigued to muster up a verbal answer.

Hawkeye lay quietly on his bunk and stared at the canvas ceiling, letting his mind wander where it wanted. After a while, he started to feel drowsy and his eyelids slowly began to fall. He reached up and rubbed a hand over his eyes in an attempt to wake himself up but it was a futile attempt. Hawkeye's tired eyes soon slid closed and his breathing became deep and even as he dropped into a very sound slumber.

BJ looked up from the game of Solitaire that he had been playing and saw that the special martini he gave Hawkeye had the desired effect and his friend was sleeping comfortably. It wasn't long before BJ began to feel the effects of another long day himself and he bid Charles good night before settling down on his own cot.

* * *

At 4:00 the next morning, Hawkeye sat up on his cot, breathing rapidly and drenched in a cold sweat. He took several deep breaths to slow his heart rate and prevent himself from hyper ventilating, raking a trembling hand through his damp hair. The nightmare he had awakened from was more terrifying than the one he'd had the previous night. Realizing what he needed to do, Hawkeye slipped quietly from his bed and hurried across the compound.

When Hawkeye rushed into Radar's office, he shook the young company clerk in order to wake him. Radar sat up drowsily and fumbled to put on his glasses. Once he saw the frightened look on Hawkeye's face, the irritation he had initially felt immediately turned to concern.

"What's the matter, Hawkeye?" Radar asked.

"I need to make a stateside call. What time is it in Boston right now?" Hawkeye inquired, following Radar over to the desk and sitting on the edge.

"Hang on a second. Well, right now it's 10:00 last night."

"Okay, great. Hurry up and place the call, Radar."

"Wait. Who are you calling, Hawkeye?"

"Oh, sorry. I'm going to call Trapper. I had a nightmare that something happened to him. I can't really talk about it but I just need to hear his voice right now." Hawkeye said quietly.

"Yes, sir. Just a second." Radar said as he cranked the phone on the desk beside him and waited. "Sparky? Yeah, I know it's late but I need a favor. Can you place a call to Boston for me? Okay, thanks a lot."

"Is he going to place the call?"

"Yeah. He's routing the call through Guam and they'll reroute it to Boston. Okay, I've got the operator in Boston." Hawkeye waiting impatiently as Radar spoke quietly with the person on the other end of the line to get the call through to it's directed recipient. "It's ringing now."

At his home in Boston, Trapper John McIntyre was awakened by the sound of his telephone ringing. His wife was out of town on business and he was at home with his two daughters, the youngest of whom was sleeping on his lap. Rubbing his eyes, Trapper reached over and grabbed the telephone receiver.

"Hello?"

"Trapper!" Hawkeye's shouted hail came clearly through the static on the line.

"Hawk? Is that you?" Trapper answered, the shock of hearing his best friend's voice jolting him awake totally.

"Yeah, it's me. How've you been?"

"Things have been going pretty good. It's a little strange getting adjusted to civilian life again. It must be the middle of the night there. Is something wrong?"

"No. I just had a crazy dream and I needed to hear your voice to reassure myself. I know it sounds ridiculous. Hey, look. I'm really sorry if I disturbed you or anything."

"You didn't. I was just sitting here with my girls. I'm really glad to hear from you, Hawk. I've really missed you, pal." Trapper said.

"I've missed you too. I wish I'd have gotten the chance to say goodbye to you. I drove to Kimpo the day you were shipped stateside because I wanted to see you off but your plane took off ten minutes before I got there." Hawkeye admitted with a smile, his heart feeling lighter than it had before. "Listen, Trap. There's a time limit on this call and we're about to get cut off. It was great talking to you. I feel a lot better now."

"It was good talking to you again, too. I'm glad I was able to help an old friend just by picking up the phone. Listen, you can call me anytime you want." Trapper smiled, putting the receiver down when the call was cut. He put his daughters to bed before going to sleep himself as, 10,000 miles away in Korea, Hawkeye left Radar's office and headed back to the Swamp.


	6. Unwitting Reinforcements

Chapter 6: Unwitting Reinforcements

That evening, things around camp had begun to start returning to a more normal routine although everyone's thoughts were on their injured chaplain. Just as the sun was beginning to set over the horizon, a jeep rolled into the camp and stopped in front of the office. Primed for the weekly scheduled poker game, Major Sidney Freedman stepped out of the vehicle and walked into the reception area to find Potter standing beside Radar's chair while the company clerk briefed him on the things that needed to be ordered from regimental headquarters to restock their supply.

"I'm sorry, I appear to be interrupting." Sidney said quietly, making his presence known.

"Oh, no. Come in, Sidney. I was going to call you but I didn't have the chance. I'm afraid we're going to have to cancel the poker game this week." Potter said, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Why? Are you expecting wounded soon? What's going on, Sherman?"

"Radar, can you excuse us for a moment?" Potter asked as Radar nodded and slipped quietly out of the room. "Okay. Something happened around here the other day Sidney and it makes having a poker game seem sickly inappropriate."

"What is it? Is something wrong?" Sidney asked, suddenly getting the feeling that his professional services were going to be needed here.

"Well, a couple of days ago when we were working triage out on the compound, Father Mulcahy took a bullet in the back."

"My God. Is he all right?"

"He's stable now and he's improving but it was touch and go for a while. Pierce and Winchester had to go back in and close a bleeder yesterday. It's been really hard on Pierce because he was the one who saw the entire incident. I think he's been eating himself up with guilt. Since you're already down here, I was wondering if you could have a word with Hawkeye and see if you can get him to open up to you about what's going on in that mind of his." Potter asked, the concern behind his request even more apparent in his eyes.

"Of course I will. Where would I find Hawkeye now?" Sidney agreed, shocked over what he had just been told.

"He and BJ should be in the Swamp. Which is good because he may be more willing to talk with Hunnicutt there."

"Just what I thought. Okay, I'll head over there and talk to him."

"Good luck, Sidney." Potter said, heading into his office to start some paperwork.

* * *

Hawkeye and BJ were playing a no rules game of cards when the door of the tent swing open quietly. Assuming that Charles was returning from his shift in post op, neither man looked up from his cards to see who had entered. Sidney sat his bag on the floor and stood for a moment, watching the two intently.

"It's good to see how you Swamp rats treat guests around these parts." Sidney joked, trying to put forth a positive front.

"Hey, Sidney. What are you doing all the way out here?" Hawkeye asked, looking up from his hand of cards to greet the psychiatrist.

"Well, we were supposed to have a poker game tonight but when I got here, I was informed that it was cancelled."

"I completely forgot about our having a game tonight."

"Obviously. What in the world are you guys playing anyway? I don't think I've ever seen that before."

"You know, that's a very good question." BJ laughed.

"If you guys are almost finished, I thought I might talk to Hawkeye for a few minutes. BJ, I'd like you to stick around if you wouldn't mind." Sidney requested, pulling over the chair from nearby and sitting down.

"What's up, Sidney?"

"I heard about what happened out here a couple days ago and Colonel Potter thought that I might be able to help you work out the guilt you appear to be feeling. I know how uncomfortable this can be for you, which is why I've asked BJ to be here as well. I thought it might be easier for you to talk to me if you have the support of someone you trust so much."

"It's hard to even think about, Sidney. I know this may sound crazy but when I stood there in pre op and saw Mulcahy go down, the thing that was going through my mind was the day that Radar told us that Henry had been killed. I thought that we had just lost another close friend and I was standing there watching it happen. I didn't care that the sniper could have shot me as well, my instinct was to run out there and help him. Luckily, Charles stopped me and offered a hand so we went out there together and got Mulcahy to safety." Hawkeye began, his breath catching in his chest. "The other night I had a nightmare in which I saw Henry's plane go into the Sea of Japan and I was standing right there and there was nothing I could do about it. Luckily, BJ and Charles talked me through that one. Then last night I had another nightmare. It was the exact same thing, except for the fact that instead of Henry, I saw Trapper there. It scared me to death. So bad, in fact, that I went to Radar's office and got him to call Boston for me so that I could talk to Trapper. I just needed to hear his voice and once I talked to him, I felt better and it eased my mind so I was able to come back here and go back to sleep. I don't know what that was about."

"I think I can tell you. What I believe you've been experiencing Hawkeye is a insecurity because you've recently lost two people who you are very close to. First, Henry died in that plane crash and then a few days after that, you came back from R&R to find that Trapper had been discharged without your having the opportunity to say goodbye to him. In both situations, you said that you were powerless to change the outcome. When Father Mulcahy was shot, it brought that back to you and you're afraid that this situation is going to inevitably end in the same way, with a tragic ending that you have no power to stop. So what you need to do is keep telling yourself that he's alive because you went after him with not once thinking about yourself. I talked to Colonel Potter earlier and he told me that Father Mulcahy's condition is stable and that he's steadily improving. You saved his life, Hawkeye. I think that if you keep telling yourself that then your nightmares will go away." Sidney said matter of factly.

"I guess I never thought about it that way. Come to think of it now, that does make sense, Sidney. I really appreciate you letting me bend your ear on that." Hawkeye smiled.

"Hey, that's why they pay me the big money. I do think there's someone else that you need to have a talk with as soon as it becomes possible."

"Yeah, I'm already way ahead of you on that one."

"Now, what say you and BJ show me the ins and outs of that game you were playing when I walked in." Sidney laughed as BJ started dealing out the cards.

* * *

The next morning, Hawkeye reported for his shift in post op and was pleasantly surprised to find the young chaplain conscious and sitting up in bed attempting to eat some breakfast using his left hand. Upon hearing Hawkeye's approach, Mulcahy looked up and greeted the chief surgeon with a grateful smile.

"How are you feeling, Father? I'm glad to see you're awake." Hawkeye asked, relief shining in his eyes.

"I really don't feel all that bad right now, Hawkeye. I do know it's hard to do anything with my left hand because it seems backwards." Mulcahy began with a sheepish look. "I am a little confused about what happened though."

"How about this. Why don't you tell me what you remember and I'll try to fill in the gaps for you."

"I remember we were on the compound, there were several wounded that had just come in, and Colonel Potter warned us to look out for snipers because they were in the area. Then shots seemed to come from nowhere and we were all rushing around getting the wounded to safety. Someone shouted for help moving a patient and then I remember my arm feeling like it was on fire. After that I don't remember anything until earlier this morning."

"Okay. What happened was that you were hit by sniper fire. I was standing in pre op checking to see if the compound was clear and saw it happen. I tried to rush out to get you to safety but Charles stopped me and reminded me that I couldn't move you on my own so he and I brought you into pre op. Then we got you into OR and I was able to remove the bullet that had lodged itself in your collarbone. I thought I had repaired all the damage but the next morning, Charles told me that you had a low hematocrit level so we had to open you up again and close another bleeder that we missed. It wasn't very easy to deal with that but BJ and even Charles were behind me and there for me to lean on."

"Well, I don't really know what to say, Hawkeye. The only thing I can think is to thank you for what you did. You knew there were snipers nearby but you still were willing to put your own life on the line to get me out of the line of fire. Not just anyone would do that. I had a guardian angel that day and you were him." Mulcahy said softly.

As Hawkeye sat with Mulcahy talking with him and taking in the knowledge that he was okay, he felt a strange sense of peace come over him. Of course, the chaplain would have to take it easy for several weeks while his wounds healed but the worst was over. Things were back to the way they were supposed to be and he silently vowed to himself that he was going to do everything in his power to ensure that they stayed that way.


End file.
